On Partnership
Ladies and Gentlemen,
The essence of the
reflections on partnership which I would like to present here is best expressed by partnership in music. Among the variety of team activities, the
partnership in performing music seems to be the clearest and most
significant guarantee of success in the basic sense. Therefore,
this type of partnership seems to be a perfect illustration of
partnership in everyday life. In my view, this phenomenon is just another
proof confirming that
art is not just an ornament of life but the very life itself.
I chose partnership in music to illustrate my understanding of
partnership not because I am a musician, but because it is a perfect focal
point for the main characteristics of this fascinating phenomenon. Therefore music, among the whole diversity of
human activities, serves just as a pretext to explain what partnership is,
or actually what it should be.
For reasons which are easy enough to understand, I will refrain from
using purely musical definitions in favour of suggestions, analogies and
allusions.
The concept of partnership has been brushed off by philosophers,
writers, poets and pedagogues; I perceive it as one of the three creative,
fundamental links which interconnect
human beings. These links are love,
friendship and partnership.
Hectolitres of ink have been used to write about love; friendship
received noticeably reduced attention. Regrettably, only a small inkwell would
suffice for all the texts on partnership.
I was unable to find any significant reflection on partnership in libraries or on the Internet. The only information available was
brief definitions of partnership
in the context of business. No mention
whatsoever of the ever-present partnership of people which is an effective
guarantee of a success in living and working together.
My personal catalogue is a list of
fundamental reflections and values which may help in developing successful
partnership. Although they are purely
personal, their message seems to be quite universal.
The Encyclopaedia
Britannica defines partnership in the following way: “Partnership, voluntary association of two or more persons for the
purpose of managing a business enterprise and sharing its profits or losses”.
Britannica, possibly the best encyclopaedia worldwide, has provided a
definition which seems perfect. Nothing more, nothing less. It encompasses
everything, clearly and concisely.
However, just after having read it I
recalled an excellent, wise and significant story told by Abba Eban
about an inquisitive student who asked his Rabbi if the whole Torah could be
reduced to just one sentence. The master replied : „Of course, yes. Do not
do unto others what you would not
want done to you. This is the whole Torah. The rest is commentary”. I
suspect that this reply was spiced with a philosophical smile.
Partnership seems to constitute a similar case. The essence of the
encyclopaedic definition is reduced to a single, brief sentence. And herewith
comes a commentary. Naturally, a
personal one as I would never venture to think even for a moment about
providing a universal one.
Let me begin from a reflection that partnership, similarly to culture
and all creative human relations, does not happen by itself. All these phenomena require effort, involvement,
wisdom, persistence, and even devotion, as well as other similar, related
values.
I decided to choose twelve of them for this personal commentary, without
arranging them in any order of importance.
Let them serve as a set of elements necessary to create a reasonably
coherent whole. Let me therefore present
The Dodecalogue of Partnership in
Music.
Here they are:
The first value: Shared responsibility for the
whole project.
The soloist acts on his
own, individually, at his sole responsibility.
His is the success and his is the failure. He does not
have to reckon with anybody or anything.
The responsibility for a partner-like activities is of
dual character; for an element or elements of the work performed by an
individual and for the value of the whole work. A team performer should be
fully aware that his contribution, if meagre, will degrade the final result.
The second value: Reciprocity
It is impossible to imagine a one-sided partnership, or similarly, a
one-sided friendship. These two relations, perhaps the most beautiful ones
which may link people, just cannot exist without reciprocity.
One-sided,
unrequited love is imaginable to a certain extent. But any expectations of happiness and success
on the part of an infatuated person are his or her personal problem, and the
responsibility is also his or her.
Apologies for quoting myself, but I have always thought that “the fact
that I love you neither obliges you in any manner, nor entitles me to anything.
“
The third value: Understanding the partner
I perceive such understanding both in the literal and wider sense.
To understand somebody, simply and literally, is an important thing –
more important than we think. Every person, even if he or she speaks the same native
language, expresses his thoughts and chooses his vocabulary following a
characteristic pattern; each of us has an individual sense of humour,
intonation and a style of approaching
others. Such seemingly trifling details can be a source of
common misunderstandings which are sometimes so irritating!
The wider meaning of this aspect which reaches deeper
into the domain of psychology, embraces the knowledge of individual features of
a partner including his temperament and personality.
The fourth value: Openness to dialogue
I quite enjoy the
adage that two monologues do not make up a dialogue. When each of the
partners is focused only on his part, without any connection with the
utterances of the other partner, the dialogue is simply not there.
The fifth value: Readiness to understand the otherness of the partner
Although it is generally known that every man is unique and one of a
kind, this fact is surprisingly often forgotten in everyday relations. This is
particularly true for a long-lasting arrangement with a partner. These understandable differences often turn
into a problem when the initial
attraction gives way to almost unavoidable irritation.
Also, it is not so easy to accept the fact that the readiness to
understand the otherness of the partner should be reciprocal; our partner
should be equally willing to understand our idiosyncrasies identically as we
understand and accept his.
The awareness of this phenomenon is invaluable as it greatly facilitates
all and any ventures into this delicate and extremely sensitive territory.
The sixth value: Internal space
I mean primarily the space for thoughts which allows for relatively
conflict-free existence and collaboration with a partner, free from doctrines,
narrowed aesthetic preferences, world-outlook, moral and historic bias, not to
mention any traces of racial connotations.
Such space and such
freedom provides the luxury and comfort of being and working together with a
partner.
The seventh value: The ability to
hear the partner and oneself at the same
time
This ability is one of the fundamental differences between solo (individual) and team performance. The fact
that the soloist hears only himself is by no means a discovery. In turn, a team
worker is obliged – really obliged – to understand himself perfectly and at the
same time hear and understand the partner.
I am sure that it is not only an
ability but also a skill which can be taught.
The eighth value: Good manners in togetherness
It might be worthwhile to remind that good manners are obligatory for
being together with another person in any circumstances, both professional and
in private life. I feel that if good manners became a common practice in
human relations, all codes and decalogues might become redundant.
The good mannered behaviour and approach to others seems to be in
particular demand for any team activities, especially in the atmosphere of
creative tension and involvement in the work.
Such good manners, tactful behaviour, good will and simple kindness are invaluable tools for dealing with such
tensions.
The ninth value: Tactful reduction of tension
It seems obvious to me that certain tensions are
unavoidable in any partnership, even the most comprehensive and perfect. It
would be naïve to think that partnership is just cakes and ale forever.
Tensions in partnership
may stem from the richness of human nature, but they may also result from seemingly trifling situations which
sometimes carry a hidden potential for a more serious conflict.
It seems also that an
instinct to fight is inherent in humanity.
Therefore it seems paramount that the vectors of forces in such fight
should be directed towards the common good and not against one another.
It might be also worthwhile to realize that certain discomforts felt
while being together with another person are to a certain extent mutual and the
partner may also feel uncomfortable with me. Ah, the reciprocity requirement in partnership never ends!
The tenth value: The ability to accept compromise
Any attempts at uniformity usually end up a failure. However, the compromise allows the
freedom of speech. It seems an obvious
approach to the sensitive issue of individual preferences. Certain divergences and nuances of opinions
which result from understandable individual differences may make the joint
action more attractive and colourful.
The eleventh value: Respect and confidence in the partner
The confidence and
respect for the values cherished by the partner are an obvious thing. Naturally, this does not concern only the
general, professional skills, but also the purely humanistic values, the
approach to life, interactions with other, the ability to cope with challenges
and various co-existential problems – in
brief, to all the facets which combine into a full personality.
The twelfth value: Understanding for the imperfections of my partner... and my own
The English adage Nobody is
perfect immediately springs to mind here, but is not just a handy phrase. The understanding and acknowledgement of this obvious, albeit
inconspicuous truth protects against harmful, even excessive irritation and allows us to keep the distance from our
own imperfections. It may even prevent
destructive frustrations and exaggerated dilemmas.
Well, Errare humanum est. It is a human thing to
err. Errors are included in the
costs of progress and development, and the fear of making errors may be worse
and more destructive than the errors themselves. It is one’s own decision either to notice a positive,
creative side of this uncomfortable phenomenon, or to consider only its destructive and negative, burdening
effect.
As it has already been said, my commentary to the encyclopaedic
definition is personal or even authorial. The
concept of partnership is so vast that one should write a sizeable
trilogy to give it a reasonably competent treatment. Therefore, it was necessary to present its
selected aspects which hopefully provide a reasonably compact and precise image
of this absolutely fascinating relationship present in our professional and private life.
I am well aware that my comments on partnership are an idea which does
not necessarily find a reflection in reality.
However, I console myself with the
thought that even the Decalogue with its “Thou shalt not kill”, “Thou shalt not
commit adultery” and “Thou shalt not steal”
quite often fails to reflect the actual relations between people.
It would be highly desirable if this wonderful, fascinating concept
finally attracted the professional
attention of some philosopher, some Socrates,
poet, some Shakespeare or some Kotarbiński.
CONGRESS OF CULTURE 2016
Warsaw, October 7, 2016
